Museum Zombie Apocalypse

One day the dead will rise, walk the earth and attempt to devour the living. If you happen to work in a museum, the obvious question is ‘Does this museum have the collection and venue that will help me survive?’.

How do you kill or hold off a zombie?
As anyone who has seen almost any zombie film, you need get one of these un-dead types in the head, preferably decapitating them. If you cannot do that and you can’t keep them out of the building then you are lunch!

Lets examine some museums in London on their chances of surviving and see if we can’t find the best place to work in?

National Gallery
I’m a huge fan of the NG but I have to say that when it comes to having a useful collection, this may not be the best place to be. Some of those picture frames are pretty solid but trying to wield one at a zombie doesn’t sound very practical. Using a Constable as a shield might only offer the smallest of reprieves too.

I think it’s game over for the staff of the NG!

Natural History Museum
I used to work here so have a soft spot for the old place, but I have my doubts about how useful the collection would be in a zombie crisis situation. Trays of insects, stuffed mammals and dried plants don’t sound very promising. The best bet sounds like the significant quantity of rocks they have for bashing or throwing at the slavering undead horde as they shuffle their way in!

Sorry NHM, I think it is probably dinner time for the zombies!

Museum of London
Obviously we need to get our hands on something useful so how about the large and diverse collection at MoL? At first things look promising as there areobjects such as dueling pistols, muskets, swords, daggers, armour and even a few bombs. It all starts to unravel when we find there is no gunpowder for the guns, the swords are old and mostly blunt and have you ever tried running in armour? Naturally the bombs have been decommissioned (you would normally be glad to hear). If they can hold the zombie mob outside there is even a bit of food in the collection to keep them going – tins of whalemeat and dried eggs from WW2 anyone?

I’m afraid they are gonners!

Imperial War Museum
Ok, time to wheel out the big guns, in this case literally. Tanks, artillery, rifles, machine guns, bayonets, the IWM has loads of them! Now we are talking right, surely this is the place to be? Wrong – none of these things can fire so much as a dried pea. It’s all talk and no trouser as my Gran would have said. I’m not sure i’d want to rely on bayoneting a zombie!

I fear they are all zombie food!

Don’t panic though, there is an answer. There is one place, actually a group of several museums within a Palace where the staff should be safe as the crown jewels. This is apt as it is where they store the crown jewels.

The Tower of London
It’s in an actual intact fortress for a start, one specifically designed to keep unwanted folk out. With the Royal Armouries and the Royal Fusilier Museums there are plenty of swords guns and armour to help clonk o few zombies.

The best thing of course is that with all the Guardsmen and Beefeaters, there are actual trained members of the armed forces on hand to help. And they have actual guns that work and (I assume) have real bullets.

If you’ve seen 28 days later, then the prospects of putting your trust in soldiers, particularly if you’re a women, might potentially have one or two downsides. You have a good chance of surviving though!

Can your museum (or art gallery) do better?
I’ve picked on these few museums and I think I’ve found a winner, but if you think different or if you think I’ve been unfair, leave a comment below.

Alternatively, give it a mention on twitter with the hashtag #museumzombieapocalypse

I notice there is a great sounding Science Museum Late called ‘The Science of Zombies‘ on 30th Jan 2013

Annual Report 2012

Another year and another set of growing data on the things I’ve been doing. I first started recording stuff in 2008 and each year I add new things. I’ve someway to go before I’m even close to my personal stats hero – Nicholas Felton. One day maybe?

Goals
At the start of the year I set myself a number of achievable looking goals. Let’s see how I got on?

Write more – I managed to write a (short) daily blog post for the entire year with no gaps, which I actually quite enjoyed and probably means that I can score this one as a victory. If I was being tough on myself I would have also liked to have written some longer pieces, stories or history items but this never really happened. One to continue next year maybe?

Read more – In year’s gone by I seem to have read between 20-25 books a year so I set myself the goal of reading 30. In the end I started 32 and finished 29. I think I would have easily exceeded 30 if another goal – television – hadn’t come in and interrupted my evening reading. I’m still pleased that I was only just shy of my target, especially as quite a few books were fairly thick.

Quality TV –  After years of barely watching any decent TV at all, this year has been a wonderful success. With the introduction of an iPad and Netflix into my life in May I’ve virtually stopped watching scheduled television at all. In addition to the TV, I’ve also managed to watch quite a few films. All this has been good but has meant that more often than not I spend the evening with earphones on with the iPad on the sofa arm which is all a bit anti-social.

Become a Pie-master – Having done almost no pastry before i’ve had quite a few goes at it this year and been pretty pleased with my results. I think ‘master’ might be pushing it but i’m going to score this as another victory.

Learn some Magic Tricks – This is a task that was rolled over from 2011 and i’ve still not done it so I think I might let this one drop for the time being. Hopefully I’ll pick it up again another time.

Grow Wheat – This was always going to be a bit ambitious and not very surprising that it hasn’t been done. I still make bread every week, however.

Touch Typing – I started this goal with enthusiasm and got so far (all the middle keys and some of the top row) but it petered out. This is an enormous shame as I think this is holding me back in the writing that I’d like to do. I definitely aim to crack this one in 2013.

Cinema
I saw 22 films at the cinema this year, much less than i expected. Partly this was down to Doing fitness classes in the evening towards the end of the year (I didn’t see a film past mid Nov) and partly because I was happy to go home and watch ‘quality’ TV. My top 3 films on the big screen:

1. Shame
2. Berberian Sound Studios
3. Once Upon a Time in Anatolia

Movies (at home)
A new category this year, films watched at home on the small screen (often the iPad). I somehow watched 49 films, not including half watching Disney films with the children. The revelation for me this year was finally seeing ‘In the Heat of the Night’ – what a corker!

Books
I set myself a target of reading 30 books this year and I did come fairly close with completing 29. I started 2 others that I didn’t finish (‘We need to talk about Kevin’ and ‘Bad Pharma’) so i’m not going to be beating myself up about it. My standouts would be:

1. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
2. The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie
3. The Perfect King: The Life of Edward III by Ian Mortimer

TV Shows
Discounting the odd bit of news, children’s shows and snippets of reality shows while I eat my dinner I have watched 32 different TV series. Notably, I finished the last 2 series of ‘The Shield’, re-watched most of ‘Red Dwarf’ and surprised myself by how good the US version of ‘The Office’ is. My top shows, however, were:

1. The Pacific
2. Mad Men – series 2
3. Dexter – series 2

In total, I watched 162.4 hours of Television, mostly in the form of complete series (seasons for US readers). This isn’t that much really.

Cultural Visits
I made 17 visits to Museums, Art Galleries or other cultural places during the year, which is not that great really and a figure that I’d like to improve on. They are all good, but i’ve been especially pleased with the National Maritime Museum with their new wing and exhibition space. I look forward to going to even more places next year.

Plays
This is now the second year running that I’ve not been to a single Play, Musical, Ballet or Opera. This is not good and I must make a better effort in 2013!

Summary
A good year of recording this, which in the future will be helped by being able to easily update the spreadsheet on my phone through Google Drive. Next year i’ll be adding a fitness column again plus a record of independent gourmet coffee shops.

Camping on Ile de Re, France

For the last couple of years we have been Holidaying in French campsites with our young child (now children). These campsites usually have the advantage of excellent pools and often activity clubs for various ages of children. Previously we have stayed in the Loire and Brittany but this year we went a little further afield to the island just off La Rochelle called Ile de Re.

Getting There
Daunted by such a long drive we stopped off in the Loire to break up the journey. We knew we’d arrived at a fairly upmarket place when we learnt that the toll to use the bridge to get on the Ile de Re was €8 (€16 after 19 June). This does then disincentivise anyone one from leaving the island once you are on it so maybe they have a great plan? At the beginning of our holiday we worried about this but as it turned out we didn’t really want to leave that much anyway.

The Island
The Ile de Re is an approximately 40km long (depending how you measure it) strip of sand in the shape of a ‘J’. It’s main selling point is that whoever is in charge has worked very hard at making sure that it is ‘unspoilt’. By unspoilt I mean that all of the towns and villages on the island look very cute with all their white washed houses and relative lack of tacky shops and restaurants. Everywhere you turn there is a lovely and very clean beach. The downside of all this unspoiltness is that the remaining restaurants are all quite pricey and we found that eating out was a bit special.

The main town and capital, St Martin de Re as well as being cute and unspoilt also sports a fantastic looking vauban fort. For history buffs this fort saw off the English in 1627 and got a mention in the book ‘The Three Musketeers’.

The Campsite
We stayed at one of the campsites near the town of La Bois Plage which was nicely right on the beach and also had a pretty nice pool complex. On the downside there was no free wifi (in fact very expensive), the pitches were on the small side and the whole place was basically a sandpit. The last point for me was the real demerit. It is possible that I’m either very slovenly or very picky but to have everything that you drop or put on the ground get instantly covered in sand was very annoying.

There were trees on the site but shade was still hard to come by and I’m really glad that we took a cheap Homebase gazebo. No matter how harsh the sun, we were able to offer the children and ourselves a bit of respite from the sun and on one occasion rain.

Cycling
I think the number one draw of the island is the opportunity to cycle round on well kept purpose built paths in safety. The place is perfect for those who like a gentle cycle or are a bit nervous or who are children. There are no serious cyclists here just people who like an amble about, possibly followed by a nice lunch. the cycle paths criss-cross the island and join all the towns. One of the nature reserves can only be seen well by cycle. There is no danger of any hills here either, the island is flat as a pancake.

I hired a bike and a little trailer for the kids for a week and used it every day. At one point I thought I might be able to take both of them out but they did tend to fight like two cats in a bag so I found it better only to take one. The trailer worked very well and my kids really loved it.

Other things to do
Before we arrived I did worry that there was nothing to do here but there are a couple of things. One highlight worth checking out is the lighthouse – Phare des Balleine – at the extreme west of the island. I highly recommend the climb to the top for the superb views and the amazing spiral staircase.

If you have ever wondered how they make sea salt, look no further as there is a museum at Loix. This, along with a number of vineyards I’m afraid I failed to check out.

There is a ruined abbey and second Vauban fort north of the town of La Flotte that was quite nice. Apart from the pretty towns themselves and the nature reserve that seemed to be about it. There certainly appears to be no nightlife here which is either a good or bad thing depending on your point of view. I thought it was great.

With the great beaches and pleasant cycling I was never bored though.

In Summary
If you are looking for a gentle, relaxing and quaint holiday destination then the Ile de Re might be the place for you. If you are looking for excitement and partying then you should look elsewhere. I would be tempted to go back when both my kids can cycle.

See all photos from the trip.

Must See Films

A colleague at work casually asked me if I had a list of films that were ‘must see’ or ‘required watching’ so I thought I’d have a go. In doing this task I decided to impose a few rules and definitions.

Firstly, this is a list of ‘must see’ films not just good films so there has to be something special about them. They have to be genre defining or have a particularly definitive performance or scene. The film also had to have been out for at least five years. Some films seem great at the time but don’t age well or become irrelevant. A ‘must see’ film must be classic and be able to stand the test of time.

This list is made up of MY ‘must see’ films and is formed from movies that I’ve actually seen and is biased towards my own tastes. I’m sure there are still quite a few films on other people’s lists that I’ve simply not watched. I’m also not a huge fan of genre’s such as horror which means many potential classics might not be represented. Please feel free to comment if you think I’ve made any errors or omissions?

Here we go (and in no particular order):

1. It Happened One Night
2. It’s a Wonderful Life
3. Back to the Future
4. Ghostbusters
5. The Terminator / Terminator 2
6. 12 Angry Men
7. Life of Brian
8. Star Wars/Empire Strikes Back
9. Silent Running
10. Jaws
11. Nashville
12. Short cuts
13. Glen Gary Glen Ross
14. Saturday Night Fever
15. Ferris Buellers Day Off
16. The Great Escape
17. Dr Strangelove
18. Casablanca
19. The Shining
20. Barry Lyndon
21. The Searchers
22. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
23. The Breakfast Club
24. Blues Brothers
25. Resovoir Dogs
26. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
27. Godfather, parts 1 and 2
28. Flash Gordon
29. Goldfinger
30. Fight Club
31. Die Hard
32. Platoon
33. Taxi Driver
34. Raging Bull
35. L.A. Confidential
36. Highlander
37. Top Gun
38. Lord of the Rings (trilogy)
39. The Matrix
40. Four weddings and a Funeral
41. Planet of the Apes
42. The Usual Suspects
43. Alien + Aliens
44. Blue Velvet
45. 2001: A Space Odyssey
46. True Romance
47. Singin’ in the Rain
48. Raiders of the Lost Ark
49. Blade Runner
50. Apocalypse Now
51. Withnail and I
52. Momento
53. Dark Knight
54. Superman
55. There’s Something about Mary
56. Airplane
57. The Apartment
58. Midnight Run
59. Some like it Hot
60. Kes
61. The Hill
62. North by Northwest
63. Rear window
64. Psycho
65. Deep Cover
66. A Touch of Evil
67. Citizen Kane
68. Blazing Saddles
69. Shawshank Redemption
70. Goodfellas
71. Toy story
72. Silence of the Lambs
73. Saving Private Ryan
74. The Italian Job
75. Jurassic Park
76. The Princess Bride
77. The Third Man
78. Brief encounter
79. Lawrence of Arabia
80. Bridge over the river Kwai
81. Wizard of Oz
82. This is Spinal Tap
83. Annie Hall
84. The Ladykillers
85. Police Academy
86. Carry on up the Khyber
87. Enter the Dragon
88. Gone with the Wind
89. The Bourne Identity
90. Toy Story
91. Snow White
92. The Exorcist
93. The Big Sleep
94. Schindlers List
95. Ben-Hur
96. Easy Rider
97. Alfie (Michael Caine version)
98. Swingers
99. Dirty Dancing
100. American Werewolf in London
101. Groundhog Day
102. Point Break
103. Cool Hand Luke
104. Before Sunrise
105. Clerks
106. Chariots of Fire
107. Pump up the Volume
108. The Great Dictator
109. Evil Dead
110. Night of the Living Dead
111. 28 Days Later

Goals for 2012

I’m a little bit late with this post as I really should have written it at the turn of the year rather than a month later. My goals for 2012, however, are as follows:

Write more

First up I want to write more this year. I’ve really enjoyed writing blogs over the last three years but they got quite intermittent last year which was a shame. I’d like to use this blog to continue to document my hobbies as well as various trips and projects that I do.

I’d also like to have a go at writing a blog post every day, for January at least, and after that see how I go. Rather than an account of the whole day I think if I just keep each post to one idea or thing that has happened it should be quite manageable. I’ll also keep this blog separate so as not to confuse things.

Read more

I like reading and I like books and for a number of months I’ve actually made a point of noting down in a list the books that I want to read. I can get a bit carried away with lists and over the last few months I have accumulated over 80 books on it. Over the last few years I’ve read between 20-25 books a year so even if I don’t add any more there is already 3-4 years worth. I really enjoy reading history books and I’ve tried to get into more classics recently but I should allow myself a few more trashy page turners in between too. Ultimately though, my aim this year is to read over 25 books. Should be doable.

Television

To give myself more time to do the first two goals I am vowing to only watch ‘quality’ television this year. Far too often I’ve found myself watching rubbish on TV and to be honest, there are other things I’d enjoy a lot more, including writing and reading. No more ‘Don’t tell the bride’ for me. On this note, I’ve got a lot of TV series box sets that are excellent and I’d like to watch but are not always popular with the Missus who, to be fair, is not a fan of violent stuff. It would be great to get through some of these if I can though and there is some crossover for us.

Ideally of an evening I’d like to watch an hour of ‘quality’ TV such as an episode of The Wire or Madmen followed by reading or writing a blog post. Then Bed.

Become a Pie Master

Over the last few years I’ve really enjoyed my bread-making but to a certain extent I’ve reached my limits at it. There are still some speciality breads that I’ve not made that I’ll have a go at from time to time but I was really after a new culinary challenge. After making a small pre-christmas request I got given a Pie book and a few pie making accouterments.  It is therefore my goal to become a bit of a ‘Pie-master’ by the end of the year. We should have a great time trying in any case.

Magic

This one has been carried over from last year when I failed to achieve it. I love magic and sleight of hand and would love to be able to do a few tricks. My aim is therefore to be able to deliver three separate magic tricks on demand by the end of the year.

Grow Wheat

I’ve been keen on bread making for some time, even regularly making my own sourdough but there is one more obsessional step to take. Growing my own wheat.

I’m not sure quite why I’m so keen to do this, as good flour is relatively easy to get hold of? Maybe it is because it is a challenge and a bit pointless that I find it an attractive idea. I’m keen to show my kids where food comes from and when I’ve mentioned it they do seem pretty keen so maybe it’s just educational?

The first challenge amongst many is getting hold of some wheat which, due to strict distribution laws, is harder to obtain than you might think. Hard to get a small amount in any case. Getting half a ton delivered would be no problem apparently. If I can get over this stumbling block we are in business.

Touch Typing

This final one may be the biggest challenge of them all. I’m sure having to look at the keyboard as I type has professionally held me back a bit. As another goal is to write more it now seems the right time to learn to touch type. There seem to be many free online courses and demo’s so I also have the few excuses.

Setting aside the time for this task will be tricky but I’m determined to crack this one if I can.

Project 365 – 2011 – Finished

In 2008 I completed my first ‘One photo a day’ for a year project. I found it quite a struggle and it almost drove me a little crazy at times. When I was finished I felt very burnt out for photography and it took me quite a while to get my mojo back. I tried fairly hard to get good, arty shots each day and possibly got a bit frustrated and upset if I didn’t get what I was after. When I finished, dazed as I was, I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment.

For this years project I went into it with a whole different attitude. This time I told myself that it would be more of a photo journal rather than an art project and I gave myself full licence to take ‘cop-out’ shots where necessary. With work and kids there are enough stresses in my life so I also said that if it got a bit much that I would just give it up. The fact that I’d already notched up one before helped here.

How did it go?

With all those pre-conditions I actually found it fairly easy this time, I certainly can’t remember a time that I felt pressured or in a tizzy about it. I more or less took my Canon 5D around with me everywhere, despite it’s bulk. It was therefore fairly straightforward to get a shot somewhere in the day. Equipment-wise this year, I had a better camera in the 5D rather than my old 20D but no macro lens as I’d sold it to get my iPhone. I remember relying on the macro quite a bit in 2008 to get those shots indoors at night. In a way I’m glad it wasn’t an option this time as I took more pictures of scenes rather than objects which suited the photo journal approach better.

The big issue this year was not so much taking the pictures, it was uploading them to Flickr. It’s interesting to note that since i’ve had a smartphone where I can take a picture, edit it if necessary and upload it within seconds or minutes it now seems an imposition if it takes longer. The knock-on effect of this has been that I now resent having to take out my memory card, plug it into the card reader and input the photos into Lightroom before editing and uploading. At first I would upload my photo each day but by the end I was doing it every 5-6 days.

Projects within the project

I had two main mini-projects to help me along during the year. The first was to document my cycle route to work which for a while was giving me 1 or 2 pictures a week. The other was an (overly) ambitious project called ’52 Portraits’. The idea was for me to take one portrait a week for the whole year. I loved the idea of this but I think i should have planned it a whole lot better as I kind of ran out of people willing to have their picture taken after about 20 weeks. Still as long as it lasted it gave me another day each week that I could include in the overall 365 project. Despite neither of these mini-projects quite coming off I’m glad I had a go as they gave me a bit of focus early on. They are also topics that i can easily pick up later if I want to.

Am I a better photographer?

My own self assessment is that I’m a much more rounded photographer this time around than I was in 2008 and the equipment that I’m using is a lot better. On the other hand I think I’ve also become a lot more accepting of snapshots and less worried about ‘arty’ shots than i was. In a sense my photography has come full circle. I’ve gone through being irritated by people being in my pictures and the desire to get the perfect framing and exposure. I’m a lot more interested these days in just recording what I’m seeing. I certainly take a lot more pictures of the family than I used to. I therefore wouldn’t say that I’ve got much better technically but I have got a lot more comfortable in my picture taking.

2014?

I completed my first 365 (actually 366) in 2008 and this one in 2011 which makes me due another one in 2014? As I rely on taking so many of these pictures on my way to work I don’t think i could face doing it again till I work (or live) somewhere else. I have no immediate plans to move by then but you never know what will be happening?

Summary

A less stressful and angst ridden project this time but also slightly less fulfilling one somehow. That said, I’m glad I did it and would consider doing it again one day. Not in 2012 though.

Annual Report 2011

Well, it’s been an exciting year. Here is the news and facts about my cultural life that are fit to print.

Photography

The big achievement in 2011 was to complete the ‘One photo a day’ project without missing a day. I did my first one in 2008 and I’m wondering if I should keep doing this every 3rd year? Praps I’ll see how I feel in 2013?

In total I took 4216 pictures with my ‘good’ camera (Canon 5D) and uploaded 891 of them to Flickr. I’ve not really kept tabs on how many iPhone photos I’ve taken.

Books

I attempted to read 20 books in 2011, though one was War and Peace that I had started the previous June (!!!) and David Copperfield that was not finished until 2012. I didn’t finish the Mitfords book as I felt i’d gleaned enough by half way or ‘Suttree’ which I just wasn’t enjoying.

It was quite a mix of books including trashy thrillers, classics, biographies and quite a few history books. All of the books, listed in the order I read them, including my favourites:

• War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy (finished)
• The Mitfords – Letters between six sisters - Edited by Charlotte mosley
• The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe
• Firewall - Andy McNab
• Rifles - Mark Urban
• The Last Kingdom - Bernard Cornwell
• The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
• Stanley Kubrick biography – John Baxter
• Nelson – A personal history - Christopher Hibbert
• A Call for the Dead - John Le Carre
• Absolution Gap - Alistair Reynolds - GOLD
• The Lost World - Arthur Conan Doyle
• Suttree – Cormac McCarthy (Did not finish)
• How Not to Grow Up - Richard Herring
• Conquest: English Kingdom in France - Juliet Barker
• War without Garlands - Robert Kershaw - Bronze
• David Copperfield (Started) - Charles Dickens
• The Blackest Streets - Sarah Wise
• The Greatest Show on Earth - Richard Dawkins - Silver

Cinema

I saw 22 films at the cinema this year. Overall not quite such a stellar year as 2010 but there were a couple of corkers.

Black Swan – Gold
127 Hours
True Grit
Never Let Me Go
Animal Kingdom
Paul
Submarine
Pina 3D – Silver
Fight Club
Attack the Block
Senna
Tree of Life
Super 8
Captain America
The Guard
The Inbetweeners
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy – Bronze
Drive
Ides of March
Adventures of Tintin – Secret of the Unicorn
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

TV Films

This year I kept a record of the films that I saw on my television either via a DVD or recorded from a station:

1. Local hero
2. Italian job
3. Jungle book
4. Mean streets
5. Evil dead
6. Hot fuzz
7. 12 Angry Men
8. Midnight run
9. Romanzo criminale
10. Day of the Dead
11. Pirates of the carribean: dead mans chest
12. Skeletons
13. Heat
14. Transporter 3
15. The money pit
16. Top gun
17. In Bruges
18. Grosse pointe blank
19. The Prestige
20. Rollerball
21. Watchmen
22. Coming to America
23. Good will hunting
24. Open range
25. Mad Max 2
26. Ghost town
27. District 9
28. Four Lions
29. About Schmidt
30. The assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford
31. 3:10 to Yuma
32. Kick-Ass
33. The Town
34. The Magnificent Ambersons (part of)
35. Dog day afternoon
36. Back to the future
37. Trading places
38. Star Trek

TV Series

I have a long list of TV series’ that I want to watch but I don’t get the opportunities that I would like which has meant that I’ve only racked up a few. All three were good but the finale season of The Wire has to be the winner.

• Battlestar Galactica – Series 2
• The Wire
• Arrested Development – Series 1

Museum Exhibitions

I saw a few Museum exhibitions, my favourite being the Don McCullen, War Photographer which I thought was very powerful.

High Arctic – National Maritime Museum
Warhorse – National Army Museum
Degas – Royal Academy
Afghanistan – British Museum
Ministry of Food – Imperial War Museum
Don McCullen: War Photographer – Imperial War Museum

I visited the galleries of many other places and I think i’ll try to record all of my cultural visits next year.